Addition to my food program

As one who eats mostly raw and living foods, I tend to eat high in fat.  Twice I did a week cleans with no fat for 10 days.  I decided, after eating almost a whole jar of nuts in one sitting that I wanted to cut back on the nuts and fat. I felt sluggish all day. 

Then I also realized, after listening to Matt Monarch being interviewed by Revvell on Rockin Radio, I decided to go back to Norman Walker's way by drinking more juice.  Smoothies are easier, and I don't plan on cutting them out.  I plan on making juice when I want to eat nuts. 

I started that yesterday and made a glass of juice instead of eating a handful of nuts.  I think this is a good transition for me.  I've been eating living foods long enough to where my absorption has greatly improved.  I felt pleasantly full until dinner.  I still notice I have emotional eating habits and hope juicing will help correct that as well as writing.

Writing is a great way to get out the junk in your mind.  If we just write for 15 minutes a day, whatever comes to our mind, whatever emotions we are feeling, the good, the bad and the ugly, we help alleviate the negative emotions we carry within our subconscious.  We become free from dramatic reactions by replacing them with calmer, better thought out actions.

Another practice I took on, Liangong, is working out for me. I enjoy the 18 exercises and am beginning to notice some of the knee bending exercises are getting easier.  I have knee trouble from walking up and down six flights of stairs daily back in my early 40's.  It was my way of exercising at the time. Unfortunately, I had the wrong shoes on and injured my knees.  This has put a limit on some of the exercises I would like to do. 

Then of course, now that I live in a hot, humid climate, I have a difficult time working out because the heat in unbearable.  Liangong seems to be perfect for me right now because it's slow, yet works the muscles and joints.

LETGO = Leaving Everything To God Okay?

Trust god.........clean house........help others

Mindfulness: first 2 days

Yesterday was the first day of the Mindfulness class which was awesome.  I loved the introduction of the class and the first lesson.  Sylvia says " Mindfulness is the balanced, ongoing attention to what is happening (physically and mentally), including the mind's perceptions and reactions, to what is happening."  You can still sign up for the class if you haven't already.   If you're already in the class, please comment so I know who you are.

I am to meditate for 10 minutes twice a day.  I have practice Centering Prayer off and on for around 20 years. However, I seem to practice more off than on.  Therefore, for me to choose a sacred word is automatic. My word yesterday for my morning meditation was "trust." I choose trust because it's a word that has come up continually especially when talking about God and faith and seems to jump at me.  Even though my mind wandered, I was always able to easily bring it back to "trust" in the way Father Keating taught.

Then, I reread the instructions and realized I am to concentrate on my breathing, to feel it enter my nostrils, to feel it go drown my throat, how my chest expands, and the sensations when it exits my body.  That is what I concentrated on during my second meditation last night.  Again, my mind wandered, but I gently brought it back to my breath.

Also, yesterday I listened to Judith Ragir's talk on mindfulness which is really great.  I had heard it before, but it's been at least a year or two.  She discusses several kinds of mindfulness. I guess I subconsciously implanted in my habits what I heard years ago because I noticed during her talk that I occasionally do those things she said.  One is paying close attention to what I do. That is to say, I would think: I'm walking, I'm sitting, etc.  I would do this in hopes that I would become more aware. It could be from the lecture she did on Koans which I loved. "When you're done eating breakfast, you go to the sink and wash the dish."

I'm really looking forward to this class and will try to tell you my experience with it. I hope you take it with me because you will get so much out of it, if you're into learning about mindfulness.

The other thing that happened to me is I was putting together a phone list for a group in which I belong.  At the end, I added a couple of quotes at the end. I chose ones for Hope.  Later, when I opened the thought for the day that I receive, it was on  Hope and included the same quote that I used on the phone list email.  I don't believe in coincidence.  I believe it was God/the Universe working.

Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

HOPE = Heart Open Please Enter
Image is from Understanding Mindfulness.

The Novena comes to an end

Today is the last day of the Novena.  I wish I could have put more of what I experienced on the blog as I was going through it. Once I have access to the web regularly, I will be able to post more often.

What I want to do now is to write a summary of what I went through, my feelings and what I learned.

One thing the Novena called for is to write my intention. I've been wanting to move back to California for several years now. My parents are elderly and I have grandchildren I want to see regularly.  So my intention is that I become a loving part of my grandchildren's lives. I want to hug them, talk to them, listen to them, hear their laugh, laugh with them, feed them, play with them, read to them, see their accomplishments, hear their sorrows, and be with them on a regular basis.  My heart aches to be with them regularly and for them to know me.  I don't want to be a stranger, I want to be a loving grandmother that they will cherish all their lives.

I went through periods of joy, sadness, serenity, and a whole array of emotions.  I asked God if my sadness was my ego trying to take over the times of serenity and joy. I have a history of depression and I have heard that our ego/subconscious tries to return us to what it's used to.  To break through that, I've learned to trust and praised God.  We get what we focus on.  Therefore, if I focus on praising and blessing God, my life becomes blessed.  To quote the reflection: "Making a blessing over life is the best way of turning our life into a blessing."

Along with the Mindfulness class beginning tomorrow, I will search the Bible for praises that I can work on to keep my mind on praising God.  I planned on continuing with the Examen for the full month of September, so I will be practicing it until Thursday and give a summary of my experience then.  At this point, I admit I enjoy doing it. I enjoy writing each night about my day, my feelings and how the Holy Spirit plays a role in my daily life.

G.O.D. = Giver Of Desires


SWAT = Surrender Willingness Acceptance Trust

Green smoothie for the day

The only fresh fruit I had in the house this morning were oranges and 3 bananas.  I drink a green smoothie every morning for breakfast and here's this morning's most excellent recipe.  I enjoyed every drop!

Green and Orange Juice Smoothie

3 fresh juiced oranges with pulp
3 bananas  
1 head of Romaine Lettuce or greens of your choice (about 3 - 4 cups)

Blend.  Enjoy!

Happiness is part of the journey, not some distant destination.

Mindfulness e-course!

I have always had a deep affection for Buddhism.  A friend introduced me to Spirituality Practice web site where you can get lots of different kinds of e-courses on spirituality.  My friend also knows how much I love Buddhism. So she gave me the gift of taking The Liberating Promise of Mindfulness with Sylvia Boorstein. Class begins on Sept. 27 and runs through to Oct. 22.  In that case, my spirtitual practice will be mindfulness.  Who knows what I'll be doing at the end of Oct. I was planning on the spirituality of Hildegard of Bingham, but that can wait. I'm really looking forward to learning more about Mindfulness.

I used to study Buddhism a lot and even practiced Metta meditation quite a bit.  I still do that when waiting in lines or for people.  I also own one of Sylvia's books, It's Easier than You Think or some similar title. My friend who gifted the class to me has it right now.  I bought it when it came out way back in the 1980's I think. 

So, if you want to join me and others for this class, please do.  I think it will be a blast.


I am grateful for this minute.  My eternity may be in it.

Novena

Starting today, I'm going to be praying the Novena for the next 9 days. This is in addition to my nightly  Examen.  I just found the site online and will learn more about it as I go.  The Novena is about praying for a specific intention for 9 days. My intention is to move back to California, hopefully between Fresno and the Trinity Alps.  The Bay Area would be perfect or anywhere close to it would be acceptable.  You can find the outline of the prayers and readings here.

PRAY = Put Recovery Around You

A spiritual awakening is our greatest gift.

Trying to keep the Examen alive for myself

I've been practicing the Examen nightly since starting this blog. First I tried it as I liad down before falling asleep.  But my mind kept drifting and I think I would fall asleep only to wake up trying to remember where I was.

A new approach was needed.  I found a blank book that I bought probably 7 years ago or more and started writing it down.  This seems to be working out better.  I first write a bit about the day, then I go through the Examen, writing everything. It takes 3-4 pages but that's OK.  That's what the book is for.

I decided writing it would be good because I listen to Revvell on Rawkin Radio and she was talking about writing and how it releases emotions and helps you heal emotionally.  So far, by doing this I was surprisingly didn't go into a depression after learning my husband didn't get a job I really wanted him to get. I somehow believe that God will find a job for him that will match his personality and the location will be really wonderful for us.  In the past, I would have obsessed about how I wanted to move back to California and would have become greatly depressed, blaming God and others for the disappointment. I don't feel this way. I don't know if it's because of working the steps, doing the Examen, or what.  I am greatful for the release of depression and obsession. 

For me, writing the Examen is working really well.  I love it and feel more serenity each day.

God's will can provide what I need for eternity.

Prayers may seem unanswered, but never are.

A change of taste

Here's my latest on the food front.  Since my illness a few weeks back, I noticed that I can't eat anything with any kind of heat. That is pepper, chili, garlic, onion, etc.  Forget the spices.  My tongue isn't going for them. They really burn and I can't take it. 

So, this means my salads are now different and lighter. I still love my bell pepper salad dressing, but I'm now using less spices in it.  I put in a bit of basil, a pinch of salt and a tsp. or so of extra virgin olive oil and that's it. The bell pepper has so much flavor it doesn't need much else. This is a change because before my illness I loved adding garlic, balsamic vinegar, etc to it. Now I can't even think about it.

So this has me thinking that my last illness was a cleanse and not stress related since my taste buds have gone through this change. It is kind of like when I loved Lara bars then all of a sudden they were too strong for me and I couldn't stand all the flavor in them; they were overwhelming to my taste buds. 

This time I can't even eat my favorite olives because I can't take the strong taste. Yesterday I made what I thought was a mild version of Mediterranean Black Olive & Walnut Tapenade (pg. 288, "The Complete Book of Raw Food", second edition).  I've made this many times mixing some green olives in it and loved it.  However yesterday, I could only eat small amounts on the lettuce wrap instead of the big globs like I used to enjoy. It never occurred to me when I started eating raw how much my taste buds would change. 

What changes have you noticed in yours if you are on the raw food program?

God Calls, We Respond

This is not only the name of an article by David L. Fleming, SJ, but is also part of Ignatian spirituality.  All quotes are from Fleming's article unless otherwise stated.  I found this article through ignatianspirituality.com which has many good articles.

According to Fleming, the exercises, "the many prayer methods, rules for discernment, spiritual disciplines, and approaches to apostolic service" were developed by Ignatius to help us find out what God wants from us now.  In this way, too, God is up close and personal. God is active in our lives all the time. God is unremittingly working in our lives by "inviting, directing, guiding, proposing, suggesting."  Ignatius designed his techniques as a way for us to tune into God's plan.  In this way, we can live more connected to God's plan for ourselves and the world. 

Fleming also makes the point that Jesus invited people into his life from right were they were. That's what Jesus does today.  No matter were I am, Jesus is there inviting me into his life. It is my choice to respond or not.  I chose to respond when I feel being called. 

Ignatius spirituality tells us to follow God with "active passivity."  That is to say, "[i]t is a spirituality of attentiveness, of watching and waiting, of noticing the ebb and flow of our feelings and inner dispositions." 

Mark 10:17-21 tells a story of a rich young man wanting to follow Jesus.  When he asked what was needed of him in order to do so, Jesus, with love, told him to sell everything and follow him.  The young man walks away sadly and Jesus turns to his disciples and says, "How hard it will be for the wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!"  Giving up material things, control, our old way, and to become a follower of God's will, not ours is sometimes extremely difficult for us.  This seems like what is meant by "active passivity."  It is responding when God calls.

Update on the Examen and energy exercises

I have been practicing the Examen for the last 6 nights and my monkey mind prevails.  I continuously find myself thinking about so many other things rather than God's presence throughout the day, or what I'm grateful for, or the emotions that came up and how God may be speaking to me through them. 

So, at least a dozen times during the session, I gently bring my mind back into focusing on the Examen.  Because I've practiced several forms of meditation off and on over the years, I understand this is just what happens to our untrained minds.   I'll just keep doing my best each night. 

What I find interesting, is that I was really exited the first couple of nights. I had really good days filled will lots of joy, laughter and serenity.  Then Saturday, I felt off balanced, like something was wrong.  I had fallen a week earlier and injured my left ankle which really bothered me. My ankle is just slightly swollen and I had been driving; I drive a stick shift.  So, with an irritated ankle, I felt out of sorts, even a bit sad and upset for being injured.  When I did the Examen, I couldn't come up with anything regarding it, so I decided to just turn the healing over to God.  I'll do my part and stay off of it as much as possible and let God take care of the results.

Due to this injury, my exercise program at this time consists of isometrics that can be done while sitting and stretching.  Also started using "The  Energy Medicine Daily Routine" which is by Donna Eden.  I heard her in an interview last month and thought what she  did was interesting and downloaded this exercise routine for free.  I don't know if you can find it on her website or not but you can find a short version of what I have at Donna's link here.  You could also try LearnEnergyMedicine.com. 

According to Donna, your well-being will improve and your positive energy field will improve with the cumulative effects of these simple exercises. I remember learning a couple of these a tai chi class I took in Berkeley about 12 years ago. They are easy and only take about 10 minutes a day.   That, I can deal with.

Lack of split ends

I stopped dying my hair about 2 years ago.  The last time I cut my hair really short was 2 1/2 years ago.  I used to get spit ends all the time.  They'd start showing up about 6 weeks after my hair cut. My hair was really dry, even though I was eating lots of fruit and juicy foods.  So, when I quit dying my hair, I figured I would be more gray than I was. I have gray hair along the sides, but not so much in the back.


About the same time I quit dying my hair, I started washing it with baking soda and rinsing it with a capful of vinegar in a cup of water.  I put the baking soda in my hand and wet it making a thick paste.  Then I wet my hair and gently massage the paste into my scalp first, then work it gently to the ends.

I've been doing this for 2 years now. And now my hair is soft, no split ends, even after not having a trim in over 5 months.  This is a big change for me. 

A brief history of my health

Since this is also a journey for physical health as well as spiritual, I would like to start with my story about my physical health.  I'll keep it as brief as possible.

Physical health has always been an issue with me. I have a long history of illnesses.  As a youth, I became a vegetarian.  I believed that was the way to health.  But I found out it really wasn't.  I still got all kinds of illnesses.  Doctors were, also, always a problem for me.  I used to ask them how I could prevent getting sick. None of them knew.  All they knew was what meds to give me that would suppress my illnesses so I appeared to get well.  It was only later that I learned that the meds don't really heal, but add to my health issues later on.

I found lumps in my breasts when I was in my early 40's.  I thought for sure I had cancer.  Luckily, they were only cysts that needed to be drained occasionally.  But who wants to live with that?  I quit drinking coffee, eating chocolate and other things the doctor suggested. That didn't help.   My doctor put me on the pill which later caused more cysts.  I got really mad and stopped taking them.

About the same time, I got irritable bowel syndrome.   I couldn't understand why I was having all these problems.  I was a vegetarian and that was considered a  healthy diet, right?  I knew about raw food. I knew in my heart that it was an even better diet than what I had been eating.  But, I didn't try it because I was the only vegetarian in my family and that was hard enough. I believed it would have been awful trying to become raw.  I wasn't ready to take all the flack from my family.  That turned out to be a problem in my own mind.  Seven years later, when I did turn to raw food as my last resort for healing, it was easier than I thought.  My family was skeptical, but supportive.  My cysts that the doctors didn't know anything about went away within 2 months.  The IBS that I was suffering took more time.  My colon was in pretty bad shape. Still, after about 5 months of drinking lots of  fresh juice and eating a high raw diet, the IBS seemed to have gone away. 

It took me a year to stop eating some cooked evening meals. The food I ate throughout the day was raw, but meals with my family usually included a large salad and a little of what I cooked for them.  The more I read about the raw food eating program, the more I wanted to eat only fresh unprocessed and unheated food.  I finally did it after a long talk with my husband.  That was six years ago.

I love what I have gotten from the diet.  I no longer get IBS, I don't have cysts in my breasts anymore, I don't get bronchitis 3 or 4 times a year anymore; I don't get it at all!  I had a thyroid problem that caused heart palpitations; that's now dormant unless I eat cooked food for a couple of days.

What I've learned, is if I eat something cooked once, I'm usually OK.  But if I eat cooked meals several days in a row, symptoms begin to return.  This happened last month when my friend was visiting me from the States and I ate at lots of restaurants; I live in Panama where I met someone who considered herself a vegetarian if she ate chicken but not beef.  I went off the program somewhat and got lots of symptoms.  I was really sick and grumpy.  Now that my health has returned, I have no cravings what so ever at this time. I want only simple food; not spicy, salty or complicated. I found that the gourmet raw that I love is now too rich.  In the last couple of days, I couldn't even finish eating the meals no matter how good they tasted. 

I think that's enough for now.  That's seems long! More later.  Now you now know lots about me!

My first attempt with the Examen

Last night I tried to go through my day as suggested by the Examen.  Well, at first my mind kept moving to other things.  So, I would gently bring my mind back to the Examen. This was done much in the same way I used to refocus myself when I practiced various types of meditation.  At one point, I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep before finishing. So I tried to remember where I was and continue.  Again I feel asleep before finishing and slept like a baby until I got up this morning. 

Right now I see it as a wonderful way to put myself to sleep.  I woke up feeling refreshed and wonderful. However, I would really like to stay away during the whole process.  Tonight, I'll try it agian and hopefully I can complete it. 

Day 1 with The Examen

 

This first month I will be looking into Ignatian Spirituality.  The site I'm using to get my info is http://ignatianspirituality.com which seems really complete. Therefore, all quotes, unless otherwise stated will come from this site.  I plan to write my reflections on what I'm learning and how I'm practicing this form of prayer, daily practice, and way of looking at God in my daily life. 

According to IgnatianSpirituality.com, Ignatius found God in everything, nature, families, friends, our emotions and "in the mundane details of our daily lives."  This goes along with my personal beliefs. I, too, see God in everything around me, in all the details much like how Ignatius found God.

For me, by seeing God everywhere, God is placed in the center of my life. He is always connected with me and all I do.  This, too, is reflected in Ignatian Spirituality.  We make choices and each choice can either draw us toward God or push God away from us.

Ignatius daily prayer and Daily Examen.

I like having clear, step by step instructions.  Ignatius seemed to do just that.  The Daily Examen is right up my alley.  Here's the version I got from ignationspirituality.com.

1. "Become aware of God’s presence." Look for the Holy Spirit in all the events of the day. Ask for clearly and understanding if any part of the day seems confusing.

2. "Review the day with gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God."  Note the joys of all things, even what you ate and little interactions with others, small pleasures, and details  with gratitude. Ask yourself, 'What did you receive from these people? What did you give them?" 

This will be easy for me.  I am used to giving thanks throughout the day.  I have a gratitude diary that I have used off and on for years.  My slogan for the last several years is to always have an attitude of gratitude. 

3. "Pay attention to your emotions." St. Ignatius believed that we can see God working through our emotions. Perhaps boredom, resentment, anger, compassion could be God's way of nudging us to take action that would help someone or change our attitude where it needs to be changed. What is the Holy Spirit saying with your emotions?

4. "Choose one feature of the day and pray from it." Choose one event, small or large and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through it. Examine it and allow the prayer to come from your heart and feelings. Ignatius believed feelings were God's way of speaking to us.  I guess we can do this in the evening after reviewing our day, or perhaps after we notice something we want to pay special attention to.

5. "Look toward tomorrow." Now we look toward tomorrow's challenges asking, again, for God's guidance, hope and understanding.  And once more, pay close attention to the feelings that arise, turning these feelings into prayer.  This is another thing I can see doing in the evening before going to bed as a preparation for the next days events.

We end with a conversation with Jesus, asking forgiveness for sins, his protection, help and wisdom.  I was surprised to read that "St. Ignatius encouraged people to talk to Jesus like a friends."  Well, OK. I'll try to do that.   We do with the attitude of gratitude. The final prayer is the Our Father.

****

So that's it. Those are the additions to my prayer life this month.  Of course, I can continue with my other prayers, but this is the practice I want to learn over the next 30 days. I'll let you know how it works for me.