Teachings of the Dalai Lama

As luck would have it, the lesson I got today from Practicing Spirituality with His Holiness the Dalai Lama is about being patient. He wrote that "there are four  qualities of patience and tolerance" to practice daily.  These come from his book "How to Practice."

• If someone pushes you around, you should be tolerant, patient.
• If someone shows anger to you, you should not respond with anger.
• If someone hits you, you should not strike back.
• If someone embarrasses and insults you, you should not answer back.

In a nutshell: "Develop a strong desire to refrain from harming others either physically or verbally no matter whether you are embarrassed, insulted, reviled, pushed, or hit."

These are not easy for me.  It's a habit for me to often respond with anger when I'm yelled at. I'm working hard not to take things personally when someone pushes me around, embarrasses or insults me.  When these things happen I try to think that the problem is within them; the anger is inside them; they are really feeling subconsciously an issue from their past; or a need isn't being met.  Then I look at my actions to see what I did to trigger that anger or the reason for the insult.

I also think the slogan "Take time to think the thing through" when someone is upset with me also applies.  It gives me the opportunity to examine what is going on, what they are really anger at, what need of theirs isn't getting met, what need of mine isn't getting met, and how best to handle it.

The practice of not responding as suggested by the four qualities listed above are wonderful.  I do think that we also benefit by reexamining our thoughts and perceptions and working to change those, too.

I decided to write the four qualities down and put them where I can easily read them regularly.  Hopefully that will help me along with the other inside work I'm currently doing regarding the six perfections.


"True change is within; leave the outside as it is."