Today is the last day of the Novena. I wish I could have put more of what I experienced on the blog as I was going through it. Once I have access to the web regularly, I will be able to post more often.
What I want to do now is to write a summary of what I went through, my feelings and what I learned.
One thing the Novena called for is to write my intention. I've been wanting to move back to California for several years now. My parents are elderly and I have grandchildren I want to see regularly. So my intention is that I become a loving part of my grandchildren's lives. I want to hug them, talk to them, listen to them, hear their laugh, laugh with them, feed them, play with them, read to them, see their accomplishments, hear their sorrows, and be with them on a regular basis. My heart aches to be with them regularly and for them to know me. I don't want to be a stranger, I want to be a loving grandmother that they will cherish all their lives.
I went through periods of joy, sadness, serenity, and a whole array of emotions. I asked God if my sadness was my ego trying to take over the times of serenity and joy. I have a history of depression and I have heard that our ego/subconscious tries to return us to what it's used to. To break through that, I've learned to trust and praised God. We get what we focus on. Therefore, if I focus on praising and blessing God, my life becomes blessed. To quote the reflection: "Making a blessing over life is the best way of turning our life into a blessing."
Along with the Mindfulness class beginning tomorrow, I will search the Bible for praises that I can work on to keep my mind on praising God. I planned on continuing with the Examen for the full month of September, so I will be practicing it until Thursday and give a summary of my experience then. At this point, I admit I enjoy doing it. I enjoy writing each night about my day, my feelings and how the Holy Spirit plays a role in my daily life.
G.O.D. = Giver Of Desires
SWAT = Surrender Willingness Acceptance Trust
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