A change of taste

Here's my latest on the food front.  Since my illness a few weeks back, I noticed that I can't eat anything with any kind of heat. That is pepper, chili, garlic, onion, etc.  Forget the spices.  My tongue isn't going for them. They really burn and I can't take it. 

So, this means my salads are now different and lighter. I still love my bell pepper salad dressing, but I'm now using less spices in it.  I put in a bit of basil, a pinch of salt and a tsp. or so of extra virgin olive oil and that's it. The bell pepper has so much flavor it doesn't need much else. This is a change because before my illness I loved adding garlic, balsamic vinegar, etc to it. Now I can't even think about it.

So this has me thinking that my last illness was a cleanse and not stress related since my taste buds have gone through this change. It is kind of like when I loved Lara bars then all of a sudden they were too strong for me and I couldn't stand all the flavor in them; they were overwhelming to my taste buds. 

This time I can't even eat my favorite olives because I can't take the strong taste. Yesterday I made what I thought was a mild version of Mediterranean Black Olive & Walnut Tapenade (pg. 288, "The Complete Book of Raw Food", second edition).  I've made this many times mixing some green olives in it and loved it.  However yesterday, I could only eat small amounts on the lettuce wrap instead of the big globs like I used to enjoy. It never occurred to me when I started eating raw how much my taste buds would change. 

What changes have you noticed in yours if you are on the raw food program?

God Calls, We Respond

This is not only the name of an article by David L. Fleming, SJ, but is also part of Ignatian spirituality.  All quotes are from Fleming's article unless otherwise stated.  I found this article through ignatianspirituality.com which has many good articles.

According to Fleming, the exercises, "the many prayer methods, rules for discernment, spiritual disciplines, and approaches to apostolic service" were developed by Ignatius to help us find out what God wants from us now.  In this way, too, God is up close and personal. God is active in our lives all the time. God is unremittingly working in our lives by "inviting, directing, guiding, proposing, suggesting."  Ignatius designed his techniques as a way for us to tune into God's plan.  In this way, we can live more connected to God's plan for ourselves and the world. 

Fleming also makes the point that Jesus invited people into his life from right were they were. That's what Jesus does today.  No matter were I am, Jesus is there inviting me into his life. It is my choice to respond or not.  I chose to respond when I feel being called. 

Ignatius spirituality tells us to follow God with "active passivity."  That is to say, "[i]t is a spirituality of attentiveness, of watching and waiting, of noticing the ebb and flow of our feelings and inner dispositions." 

Mark 10:17-21 tells a story of a rich young man wanting to follow Jesus.  When he asked what was needed of him in order to do so, Jesus, with love, told him to sell everything and follow him.  The young man walks away sadly and Jesus turns to his disciples and says, "How hard it will be for the wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!"  Giving up material things, control, our old way, and to become a follower of God's will, not ours is sometimes extremely difficult for us.  This seems like what is meant by "active passivity."  It is responding when God calls.

Update on the Examen and energy exercises

I have been practicing the Examen for the last 6 nights and my monkey mind prevails.  I continuously find myself thinking about so many other things rather than God's presence throughout the day, or what I'm grateful for, or the emotions that came up and how God may be speaking to me through them. 

So, at least a dozen times during the session, I gently bring my mind back into focusing on the Examen.  Because I've practiced several forms of meditation off and on over the years, I understand this is just what happens to our untrained minds.   I'll just keep doing my best each night. 

What I find interesting, is that I was really exited the first couple of nights. I had really good days filled will lots of joy, laughter and serenity.  Then Saturday, I felt off balanced, like something was wrong.  I had fallen a week earlier and injured my left ankle which really bothered me. My ankle is just slightly swollen and I had been driving; I drive a stick shift.  So, with an irritated ankle, I felt out of sorts, even a bit sad and upset for being injured.  When I did the Examen, I couldn't come up with anything regarding it, so I decided to just turn the healing over to God.  I'll do my part and stay off of it as much as possible and let God take care of the results.

Due to this injury, my exercise program at this time consists of isometrics that can be done while sitting and stretching.  Also started using "The  Energy Medicine Daily Routine" which is by Donna Eden.  I heard her in an interview last month and thought what she  did was interesting and downloaded this exercise routine for free.  I don't know if you can find it on her website or not but you can find a short version of what I have at Donna's link here.  You could also try LearnEnergyMedicine.com. 

According to Donna, your well-being will improve and your positive energy field will improve with the cumulative effects of these simple exercises. I remember learning a couple of these a tai chi class I took in Berkeley about 12 years ago. They are easy and only take about 10 minutes a day.   That, I can deal with.

Lack of split ends

I stopped dying my hair about 2 years ago.  The last time I cut my hair really short was 2 1/2 years ago.  I used to get spit ends all the time.  They'd start showing up about 6 weeks after my hair cut. My hair was really dry, even though I was eating lots of fruit and juicy foods.  So, when I quit dying my hair, I figured I would be more gray than I was. I have gray hair along the sides, but not so much in the back.


About the same time I quit dying my hair, I started washing it with baking soda and rinsing it with a capful of vinegar in a cup of water.  I put the baking soda in my hand and wet it making a thick paste.  Then I wet my hair and gently massage the paste into my scalp first, then work it gently to the ends.

I've been doing this for 2 years now. And now my hair is soft, no split ends, even after not having a trim in over 5 months.  This is a big change for me. 

A brief history of my health

Since this is also a journey for physical health as well as spiritual, I would like to start with my story about my physical health.  I'll keep it as brief as possible.

Physical health has always been an issue with me. I have a long history of illnesses.  As a youth, I became a vegetarian.  I believed that was the way to health.  But I found out it really wasn't.  I still got all kinds of illnesses.  Doctors were, also, always a problem for me.  I used to ask them how I could prevent getting sick. None of them knew.  All they knew was what meds to give me that would suppress my illnesses so I appeared to get well.  It was only later that I learned that the meds don't really heal, but add to my health issues later on.

I found lumps in my breasts when I was in my early 40's.  I thought for sure I had cancer.  Luckily, they were only cysts that needed to be drained occasionally.  But who wants to live with that?  I quit drinking coffee, eating chocolate and other things the doctor suggested. That didn't help.   My doctor put me on the pill which later caused more cysts.  I got really mad and stopped taking them.

About the same time, I got irritable bowel syndrome.   I couldn't understand why I was having all these problems.  I was a vegetarian and that was considered a  healthy diet, right?  I knew about raw food. I knew in my heart that it was an even better diet than what I had been eating.  But, I didn't try it because I was the only vegetarian in my family and that was hard enough. I believed it would have been awful trying to become raw.  I wasn't ready to take all the flack from my family.  That turned out to be a problem in my own mind.  Seven years later, when I did turn to raw food as my last resort for healing, it was easier than I thought.  My family was skeptical, but supportive.  My cysts that the doctors didn't know anything about went away within 2 months.  The IBS that I was suffering took more time.  My colon was in pretty bad shape. Still, after about 5 months of drinking lots of  fresh juice and eating a high raw diet, the IBS seemed to have gone away. 

It took me a year to stop eating some cooked evening meals. The food I ate throughout the day was raw, but meals with my family usually included a large salad and a little of what I cooked for them.  The more I read about the raw food eating program, the more I wanted to eat only fresh unprocessed and unheated food.  I finally did it after a long talk with my husband.  That was six years ago.

I love what I have gotten from the diet.  I no longer get IBS, I don't have cysts in my breasts anymore, I don't get bronchitis 3 or 4 times a year anymore; I don't get it at all!  I had a thyroid problem that caused heart palpitations; that's now dormant unless I eat cooked food for a couple of days.

What I've learned, is if I eat something cooked once, I'm usually OK.  But if I eat cooked meals several days in a row, symptoms begin to return.  This happened last month when my friend was visiting me from the States and I ate at lots of restaurants; I live in Panama where I met someone who considered herself a vegetarian if she ate chicken but not beef.  I went off the program somewhat and got lots of symptoms.  I was really sick and grumpy.  Now that my health has returned, I have no cravings what so ever at this time. I want only simple food; not spicy, salty or complicated. I found that the gourmet raw that I love is now too rich.  In the last couple of days, I couldn't even finish eating the meals no matter how good they tasted. 

I think that's enough for now.  That's seems long! More later.  Now you now know lots about me!

My first attempt with the Examen

Last night I tried to go through my day as suggested by the Examen.  Well, at first my mind kept moving to other things.  So, I would gently bring my mind back to the Examen. This was done much in the same way I used to refocus myself when I practiced various types of meditation.  At one point, I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep before finishing. So I tried to remember where I was and continue.  Again I feel asleep before finishing and slept like a baby until I got up this morning. 

Right now I see it as a wonderful way to put myself to sleep.  I woke up feeling refreshed and wonderful. However, I would really like to stay away during the whole process.  Tonight, I'll try it agian and hopefully I can complete it. 

Day 1 with The Examen

 

This first month I will be looking into Ignatian Spirituality.  The site I'm using to get my info is http://ignatianspirituality.com which seems really complete. Therefore, all quotes, unless otherwise stated will come from this site.  I plan to write my reflections on what I'm learning and how I'm practicing this form of prayer, daily practice, and way of looking at God in my daily life. 

According to IgnatianSpirituality.com, Ignatius found God in everything, nature, families, friends, our emotions and "in the mundane details of our daily lives."  This goes along with my personal beliefs. I, too, see God in everything around me, in all the details much like how Ignatius found God.

For me, by seeing God everywhere, God is placed in the center of my life. He is always connected with me and all I do.  This, too, is reflected in Ignatian Spirituality.  We make choices and each choice can either draw us toward God or push God away from us.

Ignatius daily prayer and Daily Examen.

I like having clear, step by step instructions.  Ignatius seemed to do just that.  The Daily Examen is right up my alley.  Here's the version I got from ignationspirituality.com.

1. "Become aware of God’s presence." Look for the Holy Spirit in all the events of the day. Ask for clearly and understanding if any part of the day seems confusing.

2. "Review the day with gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God."  Note the joys of all things, even what you ate and little interactions with others, small pleasures, and details  with gratitude. Ask yourself, 'What did you receive from these people? What did you give them?" 

This will be easy for me.  I am used to giving thanks throughout the day.  I have a gratitude diary that I have used off and on for years.  My slogan for the last several years is to always have an attitude of gratitude. 

3. "Pay attention to your emotions." St. Ignatius believed that we can see God working through our emotions. Perhaps boredom, resentment, anger, compassion could be God's way of nudging us to take action that would help someone or change our attitude where it needs to be changed. What is the Holy Spirit saying with your emotions?

4. "Choose one feature of the day and pray from it." Choose one event, small or large and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through it. Examine it and allow the prayer to come from your heart and feelings. Ignatius believed feelings were God's way of speaking to us.  I guess we can do this in the evening after reviewing our day, or perhaps after we notice something we want to pay special attention to.

5. "Look toward tomorrow." Now we look toward tomorrow's challenges asking, again, for God's guidance, hope and understanding.  And once more, pay close attention to the feelings that arise, turning these feelings into prayer.  This is another thing I can see doing in the evening before going to bed as a preparation for the next days events.

We end with a conversation with Jesus, asking forgiveness for sins, his protection, help and wisdom.  I was surprised to read that "St. Ignatius encouraged people to talk to Jesus like a friends."  Well, OK. I'll try to do that.   We do with the attitude of gratitude. The final prayer is the Our Father.

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So that's it. Those are the additions to my prayer life this month.  Of course, I can continue with my other prayers, but this is the practice I want to learn over the next 30 days. I'll let you know how it works for me.