Internet problems & Patience

Over the past month, I have had internet problems. The internet connection was moving so slowly I couldn't load or download anything without it going off. However, lots have happened. I'm studying a fasting book with a group of women at the church. I am currently doing morning fasts with prayers intent on patience.

Patience is not only one of the seven virtues, it is also one of the six perfections. In my Pema Chodron lessons, we were told to practice "being patient with slight irritations and annoyances..." In this way, we prepare ourselves to remain calm with bigger problems arise. By becoming familiar with arising feelings of impatience and annoyance, we can move into patience more readily and "deescalate" any negativity while it is relatively easy to do so.

The Dalai Lama says "there are four qualities of patience and tolerance:"

• If someone pushes you around, you should be tolerant, patient.
• If someone shows anger to you, you should not respond with anger.
• If someone hits you, you should not strike back.
• If someone embarrasses and insults you, you should not answer back.

What I have found to help me be patient with such aggressions, is to have empathy for the other person. I do this with tonglen and NVC. Do I do this every time? No. But I try. For me, this is a process, not perfection.

Even the Dalai Lama says patience is a transformation of attitude. It's an inside job.

“We cannot learn real patience and tolerance from a guru or a friend. They can be practiced only when we come in contact with someone who creates unpleasant experiences. According to Shantideva, enemies are really good for us as we can learn a lot from them and build our inner strength."”--Dalai Lama