Attitude of Gratitude

 
The Dalai Lama writes in his book The Art of Happiness to be grateful for your enemies. Firstly, whom do we consider as our enemies? According to my computer's dictionary, "an enemy is someone who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something."  I can take this to mean someone we may love such as my husband or mother.

I know I would have been very upset and confused by these instructions had I gotten them 6 years ago.  When I was going through my bad times of depression and misery, I saw my mother and my husband as my combatants, my adversaries.  No matter how hard I tried to change to fit into the mold in which they wanted to shape me, I couldn't do it without part of me dying.  When I was tired of dying (in truth I was actually ready to literally die), I fought to be on my current path without knowing where I was heading. My true self was battling to become free. My inner spirit no longer wanted to flounder with confusion and pain; it no longer wanted to be stifled; it wanted to be released and respected for who it was. Therefore, I was reborn, but not without conflict from my perceived enemies.

I first heard of "Attitude of Gratitude" in recovery.  Now I hear it in Buddhism.  "Be thankful for your enemies. They are your greatest teachers." The Dalai Lama says to use each "encounter as an opportunity to enhance one's practice of patience and tolerance." I have learned in recovery, too. 

"The enemy is the necessary condition for practicing patience. Without an enemy's action, there is no possibility for patience or tolerance to arise." What I know is by practicing my recovery program, I learn more compassion toward others; I learn about accepting people for who they are because I can't change them, I can only change myself. As I focus on my own spiritual growth and healing, those around me also seemed to heal to a point. They no longer fight with me as before. Nor do I fight with them.

"So when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude."  With daily practice, I am able to do this more often. When I see times of conflict, I can think of it more often that before as an occasion to see the person with compassion and send to him/her loving kindness.  I am also better at accepting the person for who he or she is.


Attitudes are contagious.  Is yours worth catching?

Look back and be grateful,
    look ahead and be hopeful,
    look around and be helpful.